Kay and Andy Brown made a decision to make a gift in their Wills, following major surgery that impacted them both. Appreciating the treatment they received, Kay and Andy have decided to pledge a gift for medical equipment for children and young people. Kay tells her story about why they have decided to give such a personal gift:
I met Andrew nearly 39 years ago on a blind date though friends. He was in the Merchant Navy and spent half the year away. Within six months we were engaged and 15 months married. You know when you have met Mr Right.
His mother Rita had polycystic kidney disease and was on dialysis. She had a transplant, but it rejected, and she couldn’t face another one. She died just before her 60th birthday. It wasn’t until after her death that we were informed by Andrew’s father the condition was hereditary. Andrew and his brother went for screening. Unfortunately Andrew carried the gene. It was an absolute shock. It changed our life. We worried about would he be well enough to work, what the future held, frightened.
As Andrew deteriorated, he could no longer work away at sea. Luckily his employer looked after him so very well. He was highly regarded. He was allowed to work on shore in an office job. He used to travel up to Aberdeen on a Monday and return on a Thursday. Andrew is such a hard worker, so committed to his job. He continued to work incredibly long hours. He even says now l don’t know how l managed it pre-transplant.
As his levels dropped and it was inevitable he needed a transplant. I – his wife – started to go for tests to see if I could donate. These tests took nearly a year and much to my delight, l was a match.
Transplant date set, Andrew was down in the new posh transplant wing. l was upstairs. I remember going down to see him the previous evening and he said he was afraid. I remember telling him not to be so daft in my normal practical way, let’s get on with, we have a great opportunity here. Operation done, in theatre many hours. I remember coming round and them pointing over to Andrew and saying it had gone ok. Unfortunately l couldn’t see him that well l didn’t have my glasses with me.
It wasn’t easy – l was in quite a lot of pain and didn’t see him the next day, but we texted each other. A nurse went and got me a Get Well card for Andrew and he made me a card which said it all thank you for my kidney and life. I eventually got to see him two days later. I remember opening the door and seeing him sat in a chair with tubes sticking out, we laughed he looked like Frankenstein. It wasn’t a romantic moment on our own as his work colleague was there and my cousins with me.
After we were both released, we virtually lived at the hospital for months, long days waiting for results, some ups and some downs. Andrew got a rare bug which took ages to sort out, and very careful balancing with his medication. He’s had quite a few stays in hospital and visits to A&E. If he is ill, we get him checked out and as he is immune-suppressed he is vulnerable. l get accused of fussing, but l shall continue to do so. l am good at that.
The doctor said the first six months would be the hardest, and it was, but you get on with it, getting through it. We have been so lucky to be near the Freeman, a hospital of excellence for transplants. The nurses and doctors are incredible. They have taken such good care of Andrew and sorted out all the issues on the way. We are both eternally grateful to them.
In the recovery and our time off work together, we went out walking, getting a bit further every time. The first night we went away for a night to Harrogate. We were both as high as kites. We still have our hospital check-ups and scary moments, but life is going on and it’s so much better than it could have been.
l would tell everyone never take life for granted – it’s precious. Enjoy it the best you can. Don’t abuse your body. Be sensible, follow the doctors’ advice after transplant. Get those donor cards filled in. Discuss the matter with your family. It’s not frightening. It’s incredibly rewarding. If on my death any part of my body can be used for transplant, medical research, please feel free! It will be my privilege if l can help. I have even donated my brain following a friend dying of a brain tumour.
It’s been the greatest privilege in my life to have met and love Andrew. Our life journey hasn’t been easy by any means, but when life has been tough, you appreciate it more and also each other.
If you would be interested in discussing leaving a gift in your Will to support Newcastle Hospitals or if you have any questions, please get in touch for a no-obligation chat. You can call our legacy lead Ed Milner at [email protected] or on 07860 354095.
